Real beauty … through my eyes!

Beauty is talked about and mentioned so often, yet everyone’s perception of it differs from person to person, almost like a fingerprint…unique in its own way.

I have my own perception, but to be honest, this has changed over the years from a beautiful portrait or painting to gorgeous looking women to what it is now. I don’t perceive beauty as being physical all the time anymore. There are beautiful people, beautiful sights and beautiful moments.

A person classifies beauty based on appearances and, of course, on what is on the inside, which sounds very clichéd but is very true.

To me, a beautiful person is a woman, who does not work in a 9 to 5 job but from 9am to 2pm and 5pm to 10:30pm, and also has to be called in to work at random hours of the night. Nothing slows her down as she has done this year in and year out. She has to do everything for everyone, whether it be sorting out car registration or being awake before you leave the house for work so she can get a glimpse of you. Her love is unconditional. Her love is maternal. This woman barely sleeps but is awake to everything around her. She can sense tension and can tell when something is wrong or bothering you. She never complains whether it be, her aching feet or her aching heart that misses her husband, who was there by her side for so many years only to be taken away. The children might think they lost their father but that does not compare to the loss of a soul mate; it trumps us no matter what. Yet, this woman lives on, doing whatever it takes to make the lives of her children run smoothly. She is selfless, which can be annoying a lot of the times but then to imagine her not being around is very scary to say the least. This person is my mother. She is a beautiful person, with a beautiful heart and a beautiful soul. This is true beauty to me.

Moments can also be a form of beauty. There is one moment I would have loved to experience first-hand but then again, my name is not MS Dhoni. Cricketers, especially batsmen, know when you’re in form or not. First of all, you get your body behind the ball, as your feet are quick to move. Secondly, when an out of form batsman strikes the ball, he either does not hit it off the meat of the bat and if he does, he does not hit the gaps but instead, hits it straight to fielders. When fortunes change, the ball hits the meat and you don’t feel it PING off the bat and you don’t hit the fielders anymore as you bisect the standing fielders almost at will.

During the 2011 ICC Cricket World Cup final versus Sri Lanka chasing 274, Dhoni promoted himself up the order knowing he was not in form. Realizing the gravity of the situation, Dhoni led from the front hitting an unbeaten 91 off 79 balls. Where does beauty come in all this you ask? Well, the moment Dhoni hit that ball into the stands for 6 to win the World Cup for India after 28 years of waiting, 1.21 billion people watched in awe and saw their dreams come true; whereas Dhoni just stared at the ball disappear into the crowd. He then smiled and that moment has probably been etched into my mind forever as one fantastic moment of beauty.

This is beauty to me. I am sure that there are more examples I could have drummed up but these two stood out in my mind when the topic was brought forward.

Bosi & I

The world is made up of hundreds of countries, billions of people and hence a wide diversity of culture. I’ve stated the obvious but one thing that is common here is that these billions of people are broken into families and every family is unique in its own way just like DNA. There might be some similarities but in totality there is something that makes them stand apart.

Within families, exist various relationships between the members. Yes, like a lot of people say, the relationship between parents and their children is strong bond, which is great but very clichéd. Everyone talks about their special relationships to their parents but forget them; this one is about mine with my dad; we’ll call him Bosi for short.

My life is like anyone else’s as I am part mom and part dad; just like the two sides of a coin. My dad was mostly strict with me while my mom did what a lot of moms do, and that is to shower love, protect from trouble be friend too. My dad (Bosi) was a strong person, who loved his family and commanded a lot of respect from peers and our extended family; not because he was hardcore or strict but the way he came across allowed you to do nothing else but respect the man.

Memories with my dad vary from being amazing to the usual low points. It’s how you get past the low points that strengthens and puts meaning to the relationship.

Growing up, mom used to spoil me crazy while dad would come out with the usual dialogue of how spoiling me wasn’t a good idea and that she had to stop falling for my irritating antics…I AM JUST THAT GOOD! When it came to school I was always in the hot seat; pretty much from the 7th grade onwards when I happened to rank 38th out a 120 students.. not bad right? I didn’t get the reaction expected and after compared to what my sisters were achieving, the next step was to flood my after school life with tuitions…. SUPER!

Being the youngest in the family is great as youre spoilt silly but there is a crap load of pressure to deal with, especially when it comes to matching up to 2 smart sisters. I have always been competitive growing up and even now. It probably is displayed most when I play sport but failing wasn’t something I took very well; always very hard on myself. When it came to exams, I disappointed more than impressing, and that just made me hide the truth from dad, but lies only go so far. I got caught out, and to this day remember sitting in dads lap seeing him tear with that look of a father let down. I never did that again; I might have not scored well all the time but hiding it wasn’t an option.

There have been so many fond memories of Bosi & I that I don’t know which to recount. I remember in the late 90s, I was about to start university in Manchester and dad thought it was time for him to have a word with me.. MAN to MAN!!! He kept it short & sweet and said, “beta, be careful of gori women, as they’re always ready to take their panties off!” Well put I thought and of course this has stuck with me since and I think it’ll definitely be passed on verbatim. I even remember the times, when I was back at home for the holidays, dad used to come into my room and chill on the floor nicely eavesdropping on my conversations with my female acquaintances. He would always ask, “kiss se baatein ho rahin hain???” Of course, I would tell him and that’s how we’d catch up on things.

My mum and dad made an awesome couple. They just were so good together. I would love it when dad used to get ready for a dinner invitation, mum would invariably be late and that infuriated dad. He would tell mum off and ask her to rush. As soon as she walked down and of course feeling bad after dads scolding, dad would slowly walk up and tell her, “by the way.. bohot achi lag rahi ho”. Going back to my difficult days with education, I remember having to re-sit my 1st year Med School exams. 14 exams in 15 days. On passing those exams, mum and dad asked me to come home for a week as a treat to me passing. To this day, I can’t forget walking through the immigration line at the airport seeing my dad watching down over me with this huge smile and showing a typical Indian THUMBS UP indicating a job well done. Not long after this, I lost my dad and it’s been over 11 years living without him. It is hard, not just for me but for the whole family and especially my mom, who has shared every waking moment of her married life, every success and every failure with that man.

My dad to me was the strongest man I have ever known and there are a few made like him. I hope he is happy with where I am now. I might have not got a medical degree but I got an Economics degree instead and am qualified CA…not bad eh? Hope he can see his awesome daughter in law, who like my mum was to him, is my pillar of strength today. I wish she had a chance to meet my dad but it’s ok as she can learn about Subhash Chander Verma through me and my stories.