IMTIHAAN

What is an imtihaan? It literally means a test….and that's life. Life is a test, one way or another. What is life without tests? Meaningless perhaps?

I’ve gone through such tests over and over again in my short-ish life so far. I wasn't ever as intelligent as my sisters and hence sparks were always flying as to whether this boy will make it or not in the future. I haven’t made it yet but I’m way better off than I was when I was kid at school. Fi you thought that was the end of it you’re wrong. Got to A levels and where my sisters had pulled off AAA and AAB respectively I racked up BCCD. Not the best thing when you’re trying to get into a Med School. So as usual, if at first you don't succeed, try again and I did. Was sent to Birmingham to do the exams and managed ABBB and got into Med School at Manchester.

Once there, I really tried my heart out. I wanted to be like my dad, my mom and my two sisters. Then I lost my father. What a test for boy at 20 eh? I did al the needful that had to be and then returned to University only to let things slip and I just couldn't get back. I quit Med School and took time to think. 4 months later, I got a second chance and got into the School of Accounting & Finance. Since then life’s been good, I got made redundant but am happily married and now I’m at B school with the Mrs.

Have the tests stopped? No way. They’re still on going and just make one think, where am I going wrong and what do I have to do to make things right. I love my family and would do anything for them. Am I a good person? I always think to myself and probably wake up crying mornings wondering what would I do if my mother weren’t in my life. Have I been a good son? Have I been a good brother, brother in law and mamu? All I know for sure is that my heart is pure and that one day I will have to answer to myself and a higher power up there. All I can do from here is be the way I am and even though expectations can be over-whelming, I’ll just have to my best and that’s what I have been doing. Change is not what is needed as people should accept me for who I am and not for what they want me to be….